The reason “It Gets Better” caught on with politicians and celebrities is because it’s great PR and it requires absolutely NOTHING from them in the way of real action.

someone on datalounge who I cannot quite disagree with (via aliapenny)

I just need that entire comment on my blog:

“It’s just a bullshit PR campaign, nothing more. Telling kids to put up with bullying until they leave school is not constructive advice. It’s cruel. School boards, school administrators, teachers, etc., need to have zero tolerance policy for bullying. It’s not uncommon for teachers to bully unpopular kids themselves. That’s where the changes need to be made. But that requires action, and it requires standing up to conservatives who fight anti-bullying campaigns tooth and nail (often claiming that bullying gay people is a christian right). The reason “It Gets Better” caught on with politicians and celebrities is because it’s great PR and it requires absolutely NOTHING from them in the way of real action.

It’s cruelty to tell a kid to tolerate bullying. And to whom is this campaign even directed? The fat gay kids that Savage makes fun of himself? It’s a campaign aimed at good looking white boys with great bodies and upper middle class families. Yes, THEY will do better once they start hitting the gay bars. But for most average looking kids from working class families, they will find a gay community that’s often very much like High School, with cliques and teasing and rejection. Gay kids need to get support from society, and the kids that need that most are the kids that Savage himself would mock and demonize; kids of color, working class and poor kids, fat kids, kids with acne, and kids who are otherwise marginalized in society AND in our community.

Even when you look at the videos on YouTube, you see politicians who’ve come out against marriage equality, sports teams that would never accept a gay person in their ranks, and celebrities who just want some good press. The gay kids who participate are often great looking white boys, who you know will be accepted in the gay community, and are already leading charmed lives. It’s a campaign for the people Savage likes…sexy white male teenagers with athletic bodies who will be greeted with open arms.

I’ll take the campaign seriously when Savage speaks out on behalf of marginalized gay kids, and criticizes the gay community for iots racism and other prejudices. But he’s the biggest bigot and bully of the bunch, and that’s been proven from his many years as a “columnist.” I often couldn’t believe how conservative, prejudiced, and intolerant he was in those columns.”

(via davyjonesing)

Also trans people. 

Dan Savage doesn’t care about the T, and he’s been actively, grossly cissexist on many distinct occasions. 

(via misterstibbons)

Not to mention asexuals, women, lower-class people, etc.
Let’s face it kids, Dan Savage is the most hypocritical douchebag in the queer rights movement.

But yes I agree with everything that has been posted above. 

(via daelhorhota)

don’t forget that he thinks bisexuals in general need to “make up their mind” and that male bisexuals are essentially unicorns

(via freakingdork)

I once had an extended argument over when he was glitter-bombed because he’s a huge hypocritical transphobe. You can’t claim to be a trans* ally and then hurl transphobic slurs at your enemies. There’s no complicit-by-ignorance-and-stupidity argument to be made there - that’s just straight up transphobia. He is not an ‘activist.’ He is making a great living by essentially capitalizing on the intersection of his hegemonic identities and a burgeoning pinkwashed economy.

(via trungles)

liking all the commentary here, and yeah that’s always bugged me about the “it gets better” campaign; it should be made better for kids NOW, not just waiting for them to get older and for their life to stop sucking

(via pentapod-monster)

(via so-treu)

Source: datalounge.com

knowhomo:

LGBTQ* Basics: ‘Femme’ Lesbian and Bisexual Women of Color

(Following from Femme on a Mission)

In a way, the women showcased below are members of a triple minority based on gender, ethnicity, and sexual orientation, making their successes all the more impressive and inspiring.

1. Jessica Clark

A successful model, out lesbian Jessica Clark has appeared in advertisements for Alexander McQueen and runway shows for Hermes and Julian McDonald. She also starred in Usher’s music video “Let It Burn.”

2. Natasha Kai

American soccer forward Natasha Kai set multiple records in her college career playing for the University of Hawaii.  Now a superstar athlete, Natasha plays professionally for the Philadelphia Independence. She was also on the women’s National Team, representing the U.S. in the Women’s World Cup as well as the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing. Natasha is an out lesbian and was one of only two openly gay athletes on the 2008 USA Summer Olympic team.

3. Malinda Lo

Author Malinda Lo was born in China and moved to the United States as a child. She has written several young adult novels; her most successful being Ash, a lesbian retelling of Cinderella in which the title character gets the girl – not the prince. In 2006, Malinda received the Sarah Pettit Memorial Award for Excellence in LGBT Journalism by the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association.

4. Gloria Bigelow

Gloria Bigelow is an out lesbian comedian. As well as a variety of comedy specials, Gloria has had appearances on The Rachel Ray Show, Lifetime’s Cook Yourself Thin, and LOGO’sNewNowNext Awards. She also is one of the four stars of Cherry Bomb, a lesbian talk-show hosted on AfterEllen.

5. Dalila Ali Rajeh

Out bisexual actress Dalila Ali Rajah is a co-star of Gloria Bigelow on Cherry Bomb,  as well as the producer of the series. With an MFA in acting from the California Institute of the Arts, she has appeared on stage in The Vagina Monologues and Joleta, and was the winner of the GLAAD Media Award for “Outstanding Los Angeles Theatre 2007.”

6. Vivan Wu

Vivan Wu came to the front of the lesbian scene recently as a member of the supporting cast of The Real L Word Season 2. But she is more than just the (ex?)-girlfriend of Claire; Vivian is an up-and-coming stylist, recently featured in Vogue Italia.

7. Staceyann Chin

Staceyann is a spoken word poet and political activist. Unabashedly feminist and an out lesbian, Staceyann produces poetry that is fearless and cuts deep.

8. Tasya van Ree

Photographer and artist Tasya van Ree is making a name for herself with her compelling and sensual work, most of which is in black and white. As well as still photography, Tasya also creates short art films often featuring her muse and girlfriend, out actress Amber Heard.

9. Margaret Cho

Margaret was recently featured as a Pretty Lady…on Femme on a Mission. Funny and fearless, Margaret has been a successful comedian, actress, recording artist, and all-around badass since the early nineties. She is openly bisexual, Wikipedia says that 15-20% of her body is tattooed, and my mother hates her, so basically she is awesome.

10. Jasika Nicole

Out lesbian actress Jasika Nicole is lighting up the small screen on Fox’s Fringe, playing the part of Astrid Farnsworth. She is also an illustrator, with a new comic in the works called Closetalkers about the beginning of a lesbian relationship formed between two roommates.

Related posts: 10 ‘Femme’ Lesbians You Should Know

(via bamfwomenofcolor)

Source: knowhomo

missmisandry: Okay, while I’m always willing to pass on what I know, I usually prefer if people ask, rather than demand :) I guess to me, being an intersectional feminist is the simple matter of not being a douche bag. It’s about thinking about how your actions affect others, and how the words you say can either be inclusive of others, or exclusive. And you don’t want to be exclusive. Here are some tips that I try to follow on Tumblr: Follow a lot of blogs run by POC, particularly WOC and queer MOC. Many write posts regarding their experiences and the challenges they face. Read them. Don’t send them questions asking them to explain things to you, because they aren’t here to be your teachers. They’re here to have a safe space to write about their day, and they don’t need someone in their ask box asking to be educated about matters that are really important to them. I’ve seen many of them say that it’s mentally exhausting. So just read, and if you have a question—google is your friend.  If you see a post written by a POC (particularly WOC) pertaining to their struggles or their point of view regarding their own community, don’t jump in. It’s not your place.  Especially if you have different views. I don’t know for certain, but going by your icon, you look white. Which is cool, but just know that your opinion in these matters means nothing. You don’t have the experience or the understanding to comprehend what they are talking about. And a huge problem of white feminism is talking over WOC and their experiences.  I’m not saying you can’t reblog their posts— you can, as long as they’ve signified they’re okay with that post being reblogged. But just know that the moment you put a post on your blog, you’re responsible for what your followers do with it. If one of your followers is super racist on the post, it’s your responsibility to shut that shit down. You’re the reason the OP is getting hate on their post from that person, and you need to make it right. When criticizing men in the media for violence against women, or violent lyrics in music, consider who you are going after. If the only people you are attacking are Chris Brown and Tyler the Creator, consider why that is. Because even if you don’t think you’re being racist, if you’re giving passes to the likes of Sean Penn, John Lennon, Avenged Sevenfold, and Eminem, that’s a big problem.  When talking about the wage gap, keep in mind that the 77 cent figure only relates to white men and white women. The figures for WOC and MOC as related to white men are much lower.  DON’T compare any oppression you faced with things like slavery, lynchings, the Holocaust or anything like that. Don’t culturally appropriate, or excuse/celebrate people who do. Cissexism & Heterosexism Acknowledge the existence of trans* people and don’t leave them out of your discourse. Follow a lot of blogs run by queer people, and follow the same rules listed above about respecting their boundaries. Remember that not all women have vaginas, and not all men have penises. This is particularly important considering feminism’s tendency to relate penises with manhood. Having a penis =/= being a man. A lot of feminists will mock penises as a way to cope with living in the patriarchy, but that completely disregards women with penises. Trans* women are REAL women. Trans* men are REAL men. Jokes like “justin bieber looks like a woman!” are transphobic. Saying you can practically see a woman’s adam’s apple is transphobic. Respect a person’s preferred pronouns. If you don’t know, ask. If a person says they are agender or genderfluid, or any other gender configuration, then they are.  Know that marriage equality is a priority, but it’s not the most important issue regarding the queer communiity. Respect a person’s sexual orientation. They aren’t lying about who they are or are not attracted to. People have the right to act as masculine or femme as they want. Religion This is particularly important with Islam. Radfems LOVE to bag on Islam as a woman hating religion when that absolutely is not true. The vast majority of women who wear head coverings are doing so electively. In the words of Ainee, don’t confuse culture with religion. Respect the validity of other religions, even if they are not mainstream.  Body positivity Being fat is PERFECTLY OKAY. Fat people don’t owe their health to you. They can dress how they want, go where they want, do what they want and eat what they want without any judgment. The same goes for thin people, but know that thin people, while they will experience body policing to a certain degree, will never face the same kind of discrimination fat people do. Don’t compare the two situations. Body hair on women is not disgusting. Women have no obligation to shave their legs/underarms/genitals. Similarly, they don’t have any obligation to remain hairy if they’d rather shave. Disabilities and mental health Be really mindful of the language you use. Ableist language is something I personally struggle with. Words like dumb, stupid, idiot, lame and other things are ableist. Don’t describe yourself as depressed, bipolar, schizophrenic, or having any other mental affliction if you are not diagnosed so. It trivializes the experiences of those who are. Sex positivity As a feminist, you probably already have a pretty good idea about sex positivity. But you need to acknowledge that the way sexuality is applied to other groups is different. White women can participate in things like slutwalks without even realizing that words like that can be empowering for them, but have been used to shame and hypersexualize WOC from a young age. Ditto trans* women. Also note that people have the right to be nonsexual if they want to. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin or abstaining from sex. There’s nothing wrong with bdsm and other kinks as long as the people involved are consenting to it. Nothing is degrading if the person wants it to happen. Supporting sex work is great and all, and individuals who want to participate in sex work willngly should be supported. But in your support, don’t ignore the fact that many people are forced into sex work and are not consenting in what is happening to them. Classism/education Don’t assume that because somebody hasn’t had a formal education they are somehow less intelligent than you. Their points are still valid, and often stem from personal experence, which is a thing no classroom can teach you. Dictionary definitions don’t mean shit. Because something was written in a history book, it doesn’t mean it happened that way. History is written by the oppressors. When advocating for a more eco-conscious lifestyle, remember that not everybody has the ability or resources to live the way you are suggesting. It doesn’t make them a bad person for doing it. A couple of other things: Know that you’re going to mess up. You can try as hard as possible not to, but it’s going to happen. You’ve been raised with several privileges that pretty much guarantee you’ll fuck up once. If someone calls you out for it, don’t get defensive. Apologize and learn. And don’t do any of those bullshit apologies like *I’m sorry you got offended* because that puts the responsibility on the person you upset. Just apologize for what you did and learn from it. Hell, I’ve probably fucked up a gazillion times in this post without realizing it. Recognize that none of the categories above are exclusive. There are black muslims and disabled trans women and Latin@ bisexuals and all the combinations in between. Don’t ignore their existence. Don’t be offended by posts calling white people crackers, or saying things like ‘die cisscum”. They are writing things such as that for a reason and no matter how much it might sting to read, nothing they write in their posts will ever inflict the amount of pain they have suffered in their lifetime just for being different than you. Don’t be a radfem and look down on women who choose more traditional lifestyles. Their choice to get married and have kids is just as valid as whatever choice you make for yourself. In the future, don’t come to me to tell you how to deal with groups I am not part of. I have absolutely no authority to tell you what will or will not offend people. I can only tell you what will or will not offend me. And last thing, feminism doesn’t mean jack shit if you’re not intersectional.
Pop-upView Separately

missmisandry:

Okay, while I’m always willing to pass on what I know, I usually prefer if people ask, rather than demand :)

I guess to me, being an intersectional feminist is the simple matter of not being a douche bag. It’s about thinking about how your actions affect others, and how the words you say can either be inclusive of others, or exclusive. And you don’t want to be exclusive.

Here are some tips that I try to follow on Tumblr:

  • Follow a lot of blogs run by POC, particularly WOC and queer MOC. Many write posts regarding their experiences and the challenges they face. Read them. Don’t send them questions asking them to explain things to you, because they aren’t here to be your teachers. They’re here to have a safe space to write about their day, and they don’t need someone in their ask box asking to be educated about matters that are really important to them. I’ve seen many of them say that it’s mentally exhausting. So just read, and if you have a question—google is your friend. 
  • If you see a post written by a POC (particularly WOC) pertaining to their struggles or their point of view regarding their own community, don’t jump in. It’s not your place.  Especially if you have different views. I don’t know for certain, but going by your icon, you look white. Which is cool, but just know that your opinion in these matters means nothing. You don’t have the experience or the understanding to comprehend what they are talking about. And a huge problem of white feminism is talking over WOC and their experiences. 
  • I’m not saying you can’t reblog their posts— you can, as long as they’ve signified they’re okay with that post being reblogged. But just know that the moment you put a post on your blog, you’re responsible for what your followers do with it. If one of your followers is super racist on the post, it’s your responsibility to shut that shit down. You’re the reason the OP is getting hate on their post from that person, and you need to make it right.
  • When criticizing men in the media for violence against women, or violent lyrics in music, consider who you are going after. If the only people you are attacking are Chris Brown and Tyler the Creator, consider why that is. Because even if you don’t think you’re being racist, if you’re giving passes to the likes of Sean Penn, John Lennon, Avenged Sevenfold, and Eminem, that’s a big problem. 
  • When talking about the wage gap, keep in mind that the 77 cent figure only relates to white men and white women. The figures for WOC and MOC as related to white men are much lower. 
  • DON’T compare any oppression you faced with things like slavery, lynchings, the Holocaust or anything like that.
  • Don’t culturally appropriate, or excuse/celebrate people who do.

Cissexism & Heterosexism

  • Acknowledge the existence of trans* people and don’t leave them out of your discourse.
  • Follow a lot of blogs run by queer people, and follow the same rules listed above about respecting their boundaries.
  • Remember that not all women have vaginas, and not all men have penises. This is particularly important considering feminism’s tendency to relate penises with manhood. Having a penis =/= being a man. A lot of feminists will mock penises as a way to cope with living in the patriarchy, but that completely disregards women with penises. Trans* women are REAL women. Trans* men are REAL men.
  • Jokes like “justin bieber looks like a woman!” are transphobic. Saying you can practically see a woman’s adam’s apple is transphobic.
  • Respect a person’s preferred pronouns. If you don’t know, ask.
  • If a person says they are agender or genderfluid, or any other gender configuration, then they are. 
  • Know that marriage equality is a priority, but it’s not the most important issue regarding the queer communiity.
  • Respect a person’s sexual orientation. They aren’t lying about who they are or are not attracted to.
  • People have the right to act as masculine or femme as they want.

Religion

  • This is particularly important with Islam. Radfems LOVE to bag on Islam as a woman hating religion when that absolutely is not true. The vast majority of women who wear head coverings are doing so electively. In the words of Ainee, don’t confuse culture with religion.
  • Respect the validity of other religions, even if they are not mainstream. 

Body positivity

  • Being fat is PERFECTLY OKAY. Fat people don’t owe their health to you. They can dress how they want, go where they want, do what they want and eat what they want without any judgment.
  • The same goes for thin people, but know that thin people, while they will experience body policing to a certain degree, will never face the same kind of discrimination fat people do. Don’t compare the two situations.
  • Body hair on women is not disgusting. Women have no obligation to shave their legs/underarms/genitals. Similarly, they don’t have any obligation to remain hairy if they’d rather shave.

Disabilities and mental health

  • Be really mindful of the language you use. Ableist language is something I personally struggle with. Words like dumb, stupid, idiot, lame and other things are ableist.
  • Don’t describe yourself as depressed, bipolar, schizophrenic, or having any other mental affliction if you are not diagnosed so. It trivializes the experiences of those who are.

Sex positivity

  • As a feminist, you probably already have a pretty good idea about sex positivity. But you need to acknowledge that the way sexuality is applied to other groups is different. White women can participate in things like slutwalks without even realizing that words like that can be empowering for them, but have been used to shame and hypersexualize WOC from a young age. Ditto trans* women.
  • Also note that people have the right to be nonsexual if they want to. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin or abstaining from sex.
  • There’s nothing wrong with bdsm and other kinks as long as the people involved are consenting to it. Nothing is degrading if the person wants it to happen.
  • Supporting sex work is great and all, and individuals who want to participate in sex work willngly should be supported. But in your support, don’t ignore the fact that many people are forced into sex work and are not consenting in what is happening to them.

Classism/education

  • Don’t assume that because somebody hasn’t had a formal education they are somehow less intelligent than you. Their points are still valid, and often stem from personal experence, which is a thing no classroom can teach you.
  • Dictionary definitions don’t mean shit.
  • Because something was written in a history book, it doesn’t mean it happened that way. History is written by the oppressors.
  • When advocating for a more eco-conscious lifestyle, remember that not everybody has the ability or resources to live the way you are suggesting. It doesn’t make them a bad person for doing it.

A couple of other things:

  • Know that you’re going to mess up. You can try as hard as possible not to, but it’s going to happen. You’ve been raised with several privileges that pretty much guarantee you’ll fuck up once. If someone calls you out for it, don’t get defensive. Apologize and learn. And don’t do any of those bullshit apologies like *I’m sorry you got offended* because that puts the responsibility on the person you upset. Just apologize for what you did and learn from it. Hell, I’ve probably fucked up a gazillion times in this post without realizing it.
  • Recognize that none of the categories above are exclusive. There are black muslims and disabled trans women and Latin@ bisexuals and all the combinations in between. Don’t ignore their existence.
  • Don’t be offended by posts calling white people crackers, or saying things like ‘die cisscum”. They are writing things such as that for a reason and no matter how much it might sting to read, nothing they write in their posts will ever inflict the amount of pain they have suffered in their lifetime just for being different than you.
  • Don’t be a radfem and look down on women who choose more traditional lifestyles. Their choice to get married and have kids is just as valid as whatever choice you make for yourself.
  • In the future, don’t come to me to tell you how to deal with groups I am not part of. I have absolutely no authority to tell you what will or will not offend people. I can only tell you what will or will not offend me.

And last thing, feminism doesn’t mean jack shit if you’re not intersectional.

rafsimon-murderer: Congratulations MARK TAKANO and the 5 other Asian Americans elected to Congress this year! Takano is the first gay person of color to enter the US House, and will be representing the folks in CD 41 of California. Takano Japanese-American family was interned in camps during WWII. He taught in public schools for 23 years and has a degree from Harvard.
View Separately

rafsimon-murderer:

Congratulations MARK TAKANO and the 5 other Asian Americans elected to Congress this year!

Takano is the first gay person of color to enter the US House, and will be representing the folks in CD 41 of California.

Takano Japanese-American family was interned in camps during WWII. He taught in public schools for 23 years and has a degree from Harvard.

(via lgbtgivesmehope)

Source: bare-life

All, Human
Shot: 310
Stabbed: 159
Beaten: 80
Strangled: 42
Stoned: 19
Decapitated/Dismembered: 17
Throat Slit: 9
Burned: 8
Tortured: 8
Run Over By Car: 7
Head Injuries: 5
Asphyxiation: 4
Hanged: 2
Poisoned: 2
Thrown From a Moving Vehicle: 2
Dragged to Death: 1
Drowned: 1
Grenade Explosion: 1
Run Over by Metro: 1
Thrown Out of a Window: 1 Not Reported: 137 All, Human.
I wonder at what point they considered you not Human. Was it when your hair started to grow?
Or when you took that first pill?
They say you have a condition of the most vile kind.
To a degree, that holds sway. Only it is the same condition we all have:
Human.
Sex Worker: 227
Hair Dresser/Stylist/Beautician: 17
Owner of a Beauty Shop/Hair Salon/BarShop: 8
Employee: 7
Seller/Merchant: 6
Performer: 5
Waitress/Bartender: 5
Activist: 3
Religious Leader: 3
Homeless: 2
Cook: 2
Owner of Boarding House: 2
Police Officer: 2
Prison Inmate: 1
Artist: 1
Mason: 2
Chorus Singer: 1
Cleaner: 1
Domestic Worker: 1
Guruji (Hijra leader): 1
Hostess: 1
Lawyer: 1
Practitioner of Naturopathy: 1
Public Official: 1
Pupil/Student: 1
Social Worker: 1
TV Presenter: 1 Not Reported: 512 All, Human.
What happened to the basic right to live?
When did we decide we were God?
When did we decide we could handle the responsibility of being judge, jury and executioner?
I wonder at what point we decided we were above Human.
I am reporting a crime today. Many crimes. I am guilty. So are you. I didn’t empathize enough. I didn’t speak up. I didn’t vote because I was too busy.
As a result of my actions Not Reported: Countless All, Human.

This poem is dedicated to the Trans* individuals that have lost their lives for being human. International Transgender Day of Remembrance is 11.20.2012.

Things That May Or May Not Have Really Happened: A poem written by a very dear friend of mine: